Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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