If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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