Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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