Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
