Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize