when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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