Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
bring money and cleavage
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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