There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
