Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
