David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
