We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
