You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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