wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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