Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize