YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
