Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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