Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
