my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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