Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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