GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
