thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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