it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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