I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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