her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
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