I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
