Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
