Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
