I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
