Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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