I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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