my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
