Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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