Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
