And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
