we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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