You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
