That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
