yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
do herpes really smell.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
