i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize