Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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