It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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