Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
