I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
