There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
