I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
