I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize