Nicole vs. Life
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
