Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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