We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize