dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
