Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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