Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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