So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I need a burrito and a hug.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
