Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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