I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
