Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
