Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
