Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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