He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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