If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
