I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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