dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
